


All Adventurous Jedi Do

by bondjanebond (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Girls AU (sort of), More of a Girls Parallel, My First Work in This Fandom, Smut, Space!Brooklyn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 22:13:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6302317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bondjanebond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her friends all hate him, he seems incapable of putting on a shirt and he's killed more people than she'd care to think about. Still, she keeps running to him whenever she has a bad day. She really needs to reexamine her life choices.</p>
<p>A Girls AU/Parallel set in Space!Brooklyn (aka Nar Shaddaa) for the Swamp Sex Challenge. Now a multi-chapter fic!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the product of watching all four seasons of Girls right after my 2nd TFA viewing and pondering the Adam Sackler/Kylo Ren parallels. The title is a play on the Girls S1 Ep3 title. So many thanks to [Mster70](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mster70/pseuds/Mster70) for being an amazing beta!

He was there when she knocked, because of course he was. His head slinked around the doorframe, followed shortly by the rest of him. Clad only in the black trousers that were a vestige of his former life, he looked pale and disheveled - but still so _obnoxiously_ appealing.

She had sent him some non-committal messages through the Force bond that was still a lingering nuisance at the back of her mind and had received only silence. It didn’t surprise her anymore, really - by now, she was used to this.

He would reach out to her when he felt like it and flood her mind with erotic images or random thoughts, usually at the most inopportune times. When _she_ wanted to talk to him, though - it was radio silence. Or, he would wait for three days and then reply to her request to meet up while she was in a meeting with the General or training with Master Luke. He laughed when she complained to him about the timing. He laughed a lot these days, which was a strange thing to get used to.

As infuriating as his behavior was, she still couldn't resist going to him. She hated herself each time she did it, but the desire called to her too strongly for her to keep away for long. She would make weak excuses to her friends and mentors and take a small Resistance ship out for the day. The excuses were just a formality, as everyone knew where she was going. Her friends had expressed their dismay at first but eventually let her get away with just a few eye rolls and the occasional comment about him being a murderous psychopath. She knows deep down that they weren’t exactly wrong.

The trip involved several jumps in and out of hyperspace, a surface transport ride and then winding her way through the bustling, newly-gentrified neighborhoods of Nar Shaddaa. Once she got to a particular run-down building beneath a brightly-lit sign advertising a nearby casino-turned-microbrewery, she would always find the ex-leader of the Knights of Ren. Mostly because he never seemed to leave his stupid, dirty apartment. She strongly suspected that it was some sort of base of operations that his father once used for smuggling, but she avoided questioning him on that topic.

She had no idea how he supported himself as he didn't seem to have any sort of job and wasn't allowed to leave the planet without an escort. He had set up some sort of makeshift workshop in the living room and was building a fleet of strange-looking droids. She once asked if he was planning to sell them and he looked horribly offended - so she didn't bring up the subject again.

Also on the list of taboo subjects were his parents, his uncle, and the reason why he chose Nar Shaddaa as the place to be exiled when the New Republic tribunal sentenced him. She couldn’t imagine why _anyone_ would choose to live on Nar Shaddaa when there was a galaxy full of better options, but he seemed oddly content here.

"Hey," she greeted him, breaking the silence, her voice light and casual.

"Hey kid," he said with a note of slight affection as he pulled her to him and kissed her cheek.

"It's too weird that you call me that. Your dad called me that."

"Where do you think I picked it up from? Besides, you like it." He appeared to be in one of those maddening moods today. The mention of his father didn't even seem to phase him.

She walked in and put her bag down, surveying the state of his sprawling apartment.

"What brings the hero of the Resistance to see the galaxy's disgraced son?" So he was also in a melodramatic mood. She gave him a look that she hoped conveyed that she wasn't going to take his ridiculousness. Not today.

"I just had the worst day," she replied, hoping that it didn't come out as a whine.

"Why?"

"Master Luke flat out told me that he no longer wanted to train me and was all weird and evasive as to why. I thought I had been progressing well, but evidently not. He contacted Chewie and told him to pick me up and take me back to New Republic headquarters. He wouldn't speak to me after that,” she said with a frustrated sigh. “I don't know what I did wrong! Being a Jedi was the only path I had left in my life, and now I have no idea what to do." She hated feeling lost like this. She hated even more that he was the one person she could talk to about it.

"My uncle is a buffoon," he said with a short, barking laugh while leading her by the hand to an old, overstuffed sofa by the back wall. His words were oddly comforting.

"I mean, I'm a pretty good pilot, I could join the New Republic military. And my record with the Resistance has to be good for something. Maybe one of my friends can hook me up with a job. Or I could do something with what Jedi training I already have." She was rambling now and she flopped down onto his couch, letting insecurity take over.

"I had some Jedi training," he pointed out with a dark grin, "and we both know where I ended up." He waved his hands around the dingy and cluttered room.  Rey rolled her eyes.

"I think there was a bit more to it than that," she began but he ignored her.

"That's why I build droids now, it's good honest work. I'm not anyone's _slave_ anymore." She felt the gravity of those words suddenly pulsing through the normally silent bond.  "You should never be anyone's fucking slave," he said slowly, emphasizing each syllable.

The wall he had in place over their Force bond faltered for a brief moment as he said this, and she was bombarded with a wave of jumbled emotions. There was the mingled anguish and resentment at the knowledge that he had been helpless puppet for so long. There was the exhilaration of knowing that even under house arrest, he was now truly free for the first time since he was a child. And lurking underneath it all was the simmering lust for her, a near constant presence. Almost immediately, the wall came back up, but she was glad to have at least seen that glimpse.

 

She paused for a moment, staring at him, considering him. Then she pounced on him, grabbing him by the shoulders and straddling his lap. She kissed him deeply and groaned in response, nipping at her bottom lip before planting a chain of kisses down her neck.

"Feeling frisky, then?" he said, leaning back and raising and eyebrow.

"Shut up, I hate that word." She kissed him again roughly and dug her fingers into his hair to show her displeasure. He responded by tumbling her over onto her back and settling himself between her legs. Of course he was already hard and hitting her clit perfectly, even through the layers of clothing still between them. She rocked against him and choked back a moan as his mouth worked along her collarbone.

"I miss you, you know" she gasped out. "We used to be in each other's heads so much I sometimes wished I could cut away the part that let your thoughts in." He looked up from his ministrations and gave her an unreadable look.

"Now that we are both good at shielding ourselves, I feel lonely. I miss the mean friend who told me the truth even when I didn’t want to hear it and wanted to fuck me at all times of day and night."

"I still do, and I'm still right there," he touched her forehead lightly with one finger. "I don't know what you're talking about." Of course he didn't. Of course he didn't get that his silent treatment left her sleepless and aching. He crawled his way down her body, leaving kisses along her skin as he started to unwrap the Jedi robes she would no longer need to wear. He then sat back and started unlacing one of her boots. She started fretting again, staring up at the ceiling while he worked.

"I've heard rumors," she said, "that the general plans to set me up in politics. She wants me to be part of the New Republic senate someday." The mention of his mother didn't seem to bother him as he yanked off her boot and tossed it over his shoulder. "I know nothing about that world or that kind of life. All I know is survival and fighting, it's my only skillset. I'm completely unequipped for that kind of job."

"Welll," he said slowly, in a voice that was part ridiculous, part seductive. "I think I've seen you use quite a few of your skills." He yanked off her other boot and quickly flung it, letting it land with a thud. "You are surprisingly talented for a nobody scavenger from a garbage planet,"he finished with a wicked smirk.  She would have been more insulted if she hadn't called herself that exact same thing on multiple occasions.

"I suppose I deserved that," she admitted

"I know something else you deserve right now," he growled. She had to raise an eyebrow at that. "Lie on your stomach," he commanded, voice low and gruff. She took her time flipping over and he made his way slowly up her body, pausing to remove her belt and run his hands up her sides. He brushed the hair out of her face as he put his mouth right by her ear and she shivered as his breath caressed her.

"My idiot uncle must have finally realized what I've seen all along in you, Rey." Hearing him say her name sent a thrill up her spine. "He saw that you were never meant to walk the path of the light side. Or the dark side, either. Your power is of a dual nature and it is ferocious and beautiful like you are." He kissed her neck and collarbone as she closed her eyes and sighed in pleasure.

"It doesn't matter what you choose to do next, because you will bring that power with you. I recognized it from the first moment I saw you,"he continued. He ground his hard cock against her  and sank his teeth into her shoulder as she whimpered, arousal flooding through her. His hands continued to skim up and down her sides and she wanted her clothing gone so that she could feel his skin against hers.

"I wanted to be the one to direct your power, to rule over you, but I was so wrong." She moved her hand to slip it under her body, to try to alleviate the tension he had built in her, but he grabbed it and held it fast. "You might end up being the ruler of the New Republic or a better hotshot pilot than that friend of yours. You might walk the grey path of the Force and see where that takes you. You might spend your days here with me, being my personal _fucktoy_ and practicing your art.” His voice caught and she swallowed thickly, letting her imagination briefly dwell on the last scenario.

He nipped at her neck softly, then ran his tongue along where he had bitten. “Speaking of art, those drawings you showed me are more than just good, you could turn that talent into a decent career if you wanted to." She was surprised to hear this, as he hadn’t seemed impressed at the time. The sting of his derision still echoed in her mind and she tried to shake it off. "It doesn't matter what you choose to do, because you will be very good at it - that much is a guarantee. The important thing is that it is _your_ choice and no one else's. Do you understand?" She nodded, not trusting her voice.

"Now, do you want to be my fucktoy for the rest of the afternoon?" she nodded again. He pushed himself away and stood up. "Good, take all that shit off, I'll go get a blindfold". The intensity and tenderness had dropped from his voice just as suddenly as it had arrived and he was back to his usual flippant self. Not that she minded, but he had stirred something in her that she now wished would come back.

"A blindfold? Is that really necessary?" she called out as she stripped off her robe and breast band and started peeling down her leggings and underwear. He returned before she was finished and helped her pull the garments the rest of the way off.

"Your formal Jedi training is over, so you need all the practice you can get," he said with a grin and  a tone that was somehow simultaneously mocking and sincere.

He ran his hands slowly down her back, then grasped her hips and pushed her forward until she was on her hands and knees. "There, like that. Perfect."

"Are you sure?" she felt suddenly self-conscious, which she knew was ridiculous. He was an asshole to be sure, but she could always be herself with him. Still, she felt twitchy and uncomfortable in her skin. She didn't like being on display in this position.

 _Shhhhhh,_ the shush was inside her mind and she felt the usually quiet connection open up, flooding her with his warmth and desire. He traced circles on her back with his fingertips. _You have to quiet your mind, remember?_

 _I don't think this is what Master Luke had in mind._ she countered. He ignored her and reached for the strip of cloth he had brought back with him. He covered her eyes and tied it behind her head, blacking out her vision completely. It didn't really do much for her, she still felt awkward and not sexy at all.

"Okay, now focus your attention on my touch and nothing else. If any other thoughts or sensations come up, just let them float by. Think of it as meditation with a purpose. Instead of emptying your mind, you are focusing it. Alright?"

She took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay."

He slowly ran his hand down her spine. “Now, focus on my touch, nothing else. Let this sensation occupy your senses completely,” The touch was light and wasn’t one of desire, but she tried to do as he instructed. He continued to run his fingers gently up and down her back. It was difficult and her mind was still going in a million directions, filling with worries and insecurities. She wanted ask him if she was doing this right, wanted to talk about anything but what was going on in that moment.

“Shhhhh. Let’s play the quiet game now,” he said in a way that seemed flippant on the surface but through the bond she felt the rush of tenderness and affection coming from him and this soothed her. She made a concerted effort to silence her ongoing inner monologue and after a few minutes with the meditation techniques she technically didn’t need anymore, she was able to send those chattering thoughts floating away and narrowing her focus to the sensation of his touch.

His hands kept gliding feather-light up and down her back and the warmth of his touch filled her senses. Her nerves were sensitized, but the arousal from earlier was placed on hold. This was something different. Soon, his hands moved to caress her ass and thighs with that same careful lightness. There was none of the rough possessiveness he usually showed and she wasn’t sure how she felt about this change. Again, she narrowed her focus and realized that though his touch felt different, it was wonderful in its own way.

He gently guided her to lie down on her stomach and proceeded to expand his ministrations to her entire body. He slowly worked his way down her legs to her feet and then up to pull her hair out of the bun she wore. He scratched his nails against her scalp and she felt like her entire body was melting. She let out a quiet moan of satisfaction; not the usual sort of moan he drew out of her, but something that went deeper. He dug his thumbs into the tight muscles in her shoulders, pressing down on the knots that never seemed to go away. She breathed through the pain and groaned as the muscles finally relaxed. He then continued along her arms, the lightness of his touch making the downy hairs stand on end.

Her mind and body were a pool of stillness with his light caresses rippling along the surface. She was vaguely aware of the soft noises of satisfaction that might be coming from her, but she really didn’t care. Then his hands made their tickling way up her inner thighs and one finger brushed her clit. She opened her eyes, gasping. A boulder had been tossed into her pool of stillness, creating turbulent waves. Maddeningly though, his hands went back to their previous patterns after that single touch and didn’t stray anywhere near her clit again. She whined in frustration.

“Find the stillness!” he said suddenly, the sound of his deep voice cutting through the silence. “You were doing so well, don’t let one touch unravel you.”

That was easy enough for _him_ to say, as he wasn’t the one reduced to a ball of sensitized nerve endings. She felt the arousal awakened by that one touch and and tried to wiggle against the lumpy couch to find some friction. As soon as she started moving, the hand stopped. He said nothing but the message was clearly communicated. She stilled herself, still frustrated, and he started moving again, running just a single finger along the back of her thigh. The sensation somehow felt like fire and she willed herself to focus on it, to let herself become one with that fire.

His hands returned to her upper back, giving her a reprieve from the pulsing between her legs as he continued to work the tension out of her muscles. She sighed and let herself be overtaken. No sooner had she centered herself when his hands returned to her inner thighs, teasing their way slowly up and nearer to where she needed them the most. She shivered, knowing what would follow. When he surprised her by moving back up to her arms, ignoring her now soaking wet cunt, she growled. He chuckled and continued to tease her.

The more she tried to find peace the more she became undone, but she realized at this point that this had been his plan all along. He would go from lightly scratching her scalp to suddenly stroking her clit and leaving her breathless. Then he would spend several minutes on her legs, moving his way towards her center only to divert himself at the last minute. She was aroused and hypersensitive, driven to the point of madness. The ragged moans and begging coming out of her mouth sounded like a different person. The sounds escaping from her lips were almost feral in their intensity.

“So, what shall I do with you now?” he said finally, stilling his hands and drawing a whine from her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that.” he added, only somewhat teasingly.

“Pl... _please,_ ” She managed to choke out. Her mouth felt so dry.

“Please what? You’re going to have to be more specific.” Force, she hated him. Hated him and hated how she felt about him. Hated how he was able to reduce her to this. Except that she loved it. The universe wasn’t fair.

“Please fuck me,” she whispered, barely able to get the words out, cheeks flushing with heat.

He chucked. “Very well - and how should I fuck you?”

“Please just fuck me hard. I just need…” she broke off, trying to put the words together. “I need your cock inside me. I need to come. I need _you_. Please!” She knew she was whining but couldn’t find it in herself to care.

He didn’t say anything else at this point, but she felt him grabbing her hips and lifting her. He guided her back to her hands and knees with her legs slightly apart. She felt the wetness of her arousal coating her inner thighs and nearly wept in relief when he began to guide his cock into her. He pressed in quickly, filling her and drawing a ragged _yesss_ from her lips.

He fucked her roughly, with his usual punishing pace and his hands gripping her hips tight enough to bruise. She let her herself be pushed face first into the couch cushions and let them absorb the sounds she was making. He moved her hips up slightly and angled them so that he would hit her in the right spot. When he did, she saw stars.

“You like this? You like it when I fuck you like a whore?” he asked, baritone voice dark and husky. She knew vaguely that she should be upset at his obsession with demeaning role play but she couldn’t deny that it turned her on as much as it did him. Sometimes she would dress up for him, once she had even found a Twi’lek dancer’s costume to wear. When she whispered about it to her friends, Finn was shocked and concerned but Poe smiled knowingly, slapping her hand in a congratulatory gesture.

“I told you to stop thinking so much!” he growled out suddenly. She had forgotten that the bond between them was open and that he could feel and see her jumbled thoughts and emotions. “Now answer the question, do you like it when I fuck you like a _whore_?” He punctuated the word with a powerful thrust of his hips that nearly sent her over the edge.

“Yes! Yes I do!” she sobbed, “Please don’t stop fucking me, I need you to make me yours! I need you to fill me with your come!” She didn’t know where the filthy words that left her mouth even came from but didn’t care. She knew she meant it all, as shameful as it was. He seemed very pleased with her and rewarded her with his fingers on her clit, stroking her in the exact way she needed.

With just a few more strokes of his hand she was coming hard, bright lights winking across her blindfolded vision and her breath leaving her in ragged cries. He pulled out and she heard the sound of his hand furiously stroking his cock. She sighed, knowing what was coming but not really caring in her post-orgasmic haze. She heard his loud, choking cries and then felt the warm splash of his seed on her back.

She collapsed completely onto the couch, waiting for the pounding of her heart to slow down. She felt him take the blindfold off and had to shut her eyes to the bright light. The couch shifted as he got up. She tried to let herself relax but it was difficult as the jumble of thoughts and emotions had rushed back and it was all even louder now.

He returned in a few minutes with a warm washcloth and a glass of orange-colored beverage. He carefully cleaned his come off her back and she had to admit that it felt rather nice. She sat up slowly, feeling slightly dizzy, and he handed her the glass. She took a sip of the drink and found that it was slightly sweet and tasted of fruit. She decided that she liked it and drank it down.

“What is this, it’s pretty good?” She knew that she should be asking other questions but it didn’t feel right in that moment.

“They sell it at a shop down the street. Now that the Hutt chokehold on this moon has started to slip, we’re seeing wealthy off-worlders coming in and buying up old property and turning it into fancy establishments catering to other wealthy off-worlders. It’s all a giant circle jerk but the upside is stuff like this drink. I have no idea where it’s from or who makes it, but I find that it helps speed recovery after….strenuous activity.” She tried not to think about the implications of that statement. Of course their arrangement wasn’t exclusive but the idea of him with someone else troubled her more than she wanted to admit.

“So, does that mean you actually leave this apartment? Next thing I know, you’re going to try to convince me that you even put on a shirt when doing so.” He responded by taking empty glass from her hand and placing it on the floor. He then wrapped himself around her, drawing her head up to lie against his chest. She never quite knew what it meant when he did this. She loved the closeness and the sense that he needed her, but she couldn’t be entirely sure if it was _her_ that he needed or just a warm body.

“I have been known put on a shirt from time to time,” he mumbled softly against her hair. He paused and ran a finger along the small tattoo on her thigh. “When did you get this tattoo? You’ve had it for awhile so it obviously isn’t something you got at the spur of the moment with your drunk rebellion buddies.” Of course he had to get in a dig at her friends.

“I did it myself, on what I calculated to be my seventeenth birthday, back on Jakku. I traded rations for some ink from a merchant and built the tattoo gun myself from scavenged parts. I found the needle in the medbay of an old star destroyer.” He actually looked genuinely horrified at that.

“How did you not poison yourself or infect yourself or just….injure yourself?” He seemed pained at the thought.

“I sterilized it the best I could and just hoped for the best. I managed to avoid infection, though it took awhile to heal.”

“What is it anyway? It looks like a star chart.” He traced the lines and dots over and over.

“I will tell you, but promise not to laugh.” He looked at her with his usual inscrutable face and she figured she might as well continue. “You know I was pretty much alone for many years on Jakku. I had people I worked for, but there was no one looking out for me, no one to talk to. You yourself knew how lonely I was the first time we met.” She wondered if mentioning his failed interrogation would cause a response but it didn’t, he continue to hold her gaze with an even expression.

“I spent a lot of time looking at the stars at night and I would make up stories about the star formations. I gave each constellation a name, and my favorite was the one I called The Mother. The stars formed a shape that I envisioned to be a woman with a child. I imagined that she was always looking out for me from her perch in the sky. I would talk to her sometimes, even. So when I turned seventeen or at least presumed I did, I wanted to mark my body with her form. So that I wouldn’t ever be alone. It sounds very silly now, I suppose.” There was a brief silence that hung between them before he spoke.

“I was lonely when I was seventeen too, but I didn’t draw all over myself,”he responded, deadpan. She felt gut-punched by his flippant dismissal until he knelt down in front of her and started kissing the tattoo, making wet sloppy sounds. She didn’t know what to think anymore, everything he did confused her.

“You aren’t alone anymore, you could get it removed, or something else drawn there instead,” he suggested, nipping at the inked skin lightly.

“No, it is a part of who I was and I won’t erase that.” He seemed placated by this response and moved from kissing her thighs to her bare breasts, which had been neglected previously. She closed her eyes and sighed at the spike of pleasure from his teeth scraping one nipple and fingers roughly pinching the other. She wanted sink into this and drown.Then realization and memory flooded her all at once as she saw how dim the light had become.

“Fuck, what time is it?” she said, reluctantly pulling him off of her breast. “Where’s my chronometer? I need to be back at the base for a formal dinner.” He didn’t move so she fumbled around, finally finding it. “Fuck! I’m late, and it’s going to take me forever to get back!”

“ _Fuuuuck,_ ” he groaned, though he didn’t seem particularly distressed. He could probably tell from her frantic thoughts that this was the dinner his mother had set up as a way to introduce her the political elite of the New Republic. She could sense his amusement at how angry The General would be once she realized he was the reason the great and noble Rey missed her debut.

Deep down though, she was glad this had happened. He was a welcome distraction, as infuriating he was, and she was still ambivalent about the General’s plans for her. If this helped tilt things in one direction or the other, so be it. She slowly got dressed and he helped her. He carefully wound her sash around her waist, kneeling in front of her to fasten it. She placed her hand on his head, running her fingers through his hair. He looked at her with such a charming smile that it nearly broke her heart.

“Thank you for this, I needed it,” she said affectionately.

He nods in agreement and flashes her a small smile.“Of course, I always like seeing you”.

“I’ll be back soon, if you want me to”

“Any time just let me know,” he tapped his temple, indicating the Force bond. As though he didn’t keep it shut most of the time.

She felt awkward and didn’t know how to keep the conversation going so she gathered up her bag and went to leave. He kissed her on the top of her head before she departed and all during the walk back to her fighter, she argued with herself.

Once she was secured in the cockpit and queued for the jump into hyperspace, she decided to stop parsing out the pros and cons of the situation and just think about how hard he had made her come. As she relaxed and let herself go through the memories, her hand found its way between her legs. She touched herself lightly, remembering the maddeningly light touches he had used on her.

Suddenly, the Force bond opened up and her own lust was magnified tenfold as it intertwined with his. As she let the memories wash over her, she now felt what he had been feeling as he had caressed her, teased her, and finally fucked her. Her memories of him inside her melded with his memories of being inside her and the effect was dizzying.  In short order she was orgasiming again, the sound of her gasps drowned out by the hum of the engines.

Just as suddenly as he had shown up in her mind, he was once again gone. The wall was up again. Regaining her breath, she wiped her hands off on the robe she no longer needed. She leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes, planning to nap her way through the rest of the hyperjump and hopefully figure out how to deal with the general once she returned.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now a multi-chapter story! This chapter is based loosely on the events in the fourth episode the first season of Girls, "Hannah's Diary" (the one where Adam sends Hannah a dick pic and insanity ensues).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks again to the awesome [Mster70](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mster70/pseuds/Mster70) for beta-ing and to the Reylo community for being so lovely and supportive! If you want to follow along with the show, see if you can find a friend with an HBO Go log-in or an Amazon Prime account (who trusts you not to go on a shopping spree) as you can stream Girls at both of those locations.

She clung to the last tendrils of sleep, trying to stay within the blissful haze of unconsciousness just a little while longer. She had spent weeks undergoing lessons in politics, protocol and etiquette and was completely and utterly drained from it all. If she had to memorize another list of dignitaries or recite the command structure for the New Republic one more time, she knew there would be tears. Fortunately, the bed in her quarters was ridiculously comfortable and she used it as her refuge. Once it became apparent that she was well and truly awake, she flipped onto her back and stretched out, taking her time.

She glanced at the holopad she had dropped next to her bed before falling into it and saw the notification for new messages. Sleepily she picked it up and thumbed through meeting notes from the General, instructions for her upcoming diplomatic trip to Naboo and a page of not-terribly-clever jokes that C3PO had apparently sent to everyone at headquarters. Then there was a message that nearly made her drop the holopad as she shrieked and put her hand over her mouth reflexively.

“What the fuck?!” she exclaimed to no one. She had no time to process what she had just seen because another message flashed onto the screen.

“What the _actual_ fuck?! What is your fucking problem?” she yelled, both out loud to the empty room and though the Force bond, which she had opened as far as she could on her end. She heard nothing but her own angry, ragged breathing in reply. She threw on her clothes, grabbed her things and slammed the door to her room on her way out, causing a nearby cleaning droid to scurry away in alarm.

She made her way to the mess hall and grabbed some food and a cup of caf without really paying attention. She saw Finn and Poe sitting in their usual spot and wasted no time flopping down at the table to join them. They most likely read the expression on her face when she sat down because they said nothing until she had taken a few sips of caf and was able to compose her thoughts a bit.

“This wouldn’t have to do with our favorite murderous psychopath, would it?” asked Poe, one eyebrow raised.

“Do you even need to ask?” she grumbled into her mug of caf, wishing she could drown herself in it.

“I can’t even start to guess what he might have done this time because each thing I hear come out of your mouth about him is more shocking than the last,” Finn remarked.

“Prepare to be shocked beyond all human decency and comprehension,” she said and dropped the holopad on the table in front of him.

“What the _fuck_?” he exclaimed, looking disturbed as his eyes darted over the screen.  

“What?” asked Poe, clearly intrigued. Finn handed the holopad over like it was a live thermal detonator.

“Fuck, that’s a dick!” laughed Poe.  “A very hard dick, with what looks to be the hilt of a certain familiar lightsaber next to it. For size comparison I guess? Man, that dude has some issues. And a really big dick. Seriously, why did you never tell us how big his dick is?”

“I think I’ve lost my appetite,” grumbled Finn as he pushed away the tray of food in front of him.

“I haven't gotten to the bad part yet,” she muttered as she flipped to the next message.

“ _Sorry, that wasn’t for you,_ ” read Poe, “And he spelled ‘sorry’ as s-r-y.”

“Oh _damn_ !” exclaimed Finn while Poe whispered _fuck_ slowly under his breath.

“Right?” said Rey, grateful that her friends immediately understood the magnitude of the situation.

“This tops pretty much every asshole thing he has ever done,” said Finn, sipping his caf contemplatively. “Besides the father-murdering psychopath First Order shit. And the time he tried to get you off while you were in a meeting with his mother. And the time he said you looked old.  And the time he-”

“Okay, that’s enough!” she yelled too loudly, causing others sitting nearby to turn and stare. She ducked her head, starting to question the wisdom of telling her friends everything about her complicated love life.

“The important thing is that you can’t react to it,” said Poe adamantly. “You can’t let him see that it bothers you.”

“It might be kind of late for that,” she admitted. “I shouted ‘what is your fucking problem’ through the Force bond as soon as I read it. I don’t know if he heard it, though.”  She didn’t tell Poe that she had been sorely tempted to do more. She had wanted to pull her clothes off and bring herself to the most earth-shattering orgasm she could muster while slamming open the Force bond so that he would have to watch. Fortunately the need for caffeine had overridden this impulse and she was now glad to have some semblance of dignity intact.

“That’s not too bad, but keep cool for now. Ignore him until he gets bothered enough to actually care. Then, you make him _pay_.”

“Fine,” she sighed, not wanting to deal with this anymore. She had her trip to Naboo to worry about and still didn’t have the names of every dignitary memorized. This was her first big assignment as part of the New Republic diplomatic corp and Rey knew that she needed to prove to the General, as well as everyone else, that she was more than some failed-Jedi scavenger from a backwater planet.

“When do you leave?” asked Finn, mercifully changing the subject.

“In a few hours,” she replied, stealing a sweetroll from his plate. He was kind enough to pretend not to notice. “There will be representatives from thirteen worlds meeting on Naboo to set up new trade and aid treaties in the wake of the fighting. My job is mostly to observe and take notes.”

“Don’t underestimate yourself, sunshine,” Poe chimed in. “You’ve been negotiating trades since you were five years old.”

“I don’t think haggling for an extra quarter portion because I managed to polish up a piece of scrap especially well is the same thing as writing up a formal document to establish new supply lines and set conditions for aid distribution. I already know I will be in way over my head.”

“You could have said the same thing on Starkiller and yet you wiped the floor with mister psychopath, saved Finn’s sorry ass, and were by all accounts a big fucking hero,” Poe said excitedly. “This will be like playing with dolls.”

“How did you know about my doll?”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind,” she said, shaking her head as she stood up and hugged her friends goodbye. “Thanks for the breakfast and the pep-talk, I need to pack and meet up with the general. Hopefully this won’t be a complete disaster”.

 

* * *

 

Three days later she concluded that the trip was, in fact, a complete and utter disaster.

Taking notes during the rapid-fire negotiations was much more difficult than she had anticipated and large swaths of information ended up missing from her reports. She tried to keep pace but her lack of formal education was starting to catch up with her, as trade negotiations were not included in any of the data she had salvaged from imperial databases. On top of her poor note-taking, she had tripped and fallen in the ridiculous high-heeled shoes she had been told to wear. In front of a lot of people. Twice.

The general was kind enough not to let her disappointment show but Rey could still sense it. She felt herself growing more and more uneasy, knowing that she was letting down the woman who had put so much faith in her. She also felt wretched, knowing that she was failing at something yet again. On top of that, she kept scrolling back through her holopad to that ridiculous image and the heartbreaking message, letting it eat away at her again and again.

At times she was tempted to try the Force bond, to see if she could reach him. She wavered back and forth between wanting to scream at him and wanting to beg him pathetically for answers. In one particularly low moment, slightly drunk after a formal dinner, she briefly considered asking a rather handsome clerk to bed for the sole purpose of tormenting her tormenter.  Fortunately she had gotten over that idea quickly and sobered up before she could do anything she’d wind up regretting later.

On the last day of the talks she had to drag herself to her meeting with the palace staff before the ceremonial dinner that marked the end of the negotiations. She had been given instructions to let the women of the Naboo Court style her in whatever manner they chose, as she still held a prominent symbolic position and it was only fitting that she look the part. She dreaded this, wanting no part of the the ridiculous charade. She still considered herself a nobody and didn’t want to be placed on anyone’s pedestal.

These thoughts were storming through her head as she entered the ornate-yet-cozy chamber, filled with chattering women. Their voices raised in excitement at her approach and they hovered around her in an excited swarm. She couldn’t help the tension that radiated off of her as the ladies brushed out her hair and brought out various garments to hold up against her. One of them seemed to guess at her discomfort and asked her kindly what was troubling her.

She wanted to say that it was everything, that her entire life was a jumbled mess, but knew that would just sound melodramatic. Finally she just said, “guy trouble, I guess?”

With that, the flock of women around her erupted into a chorus chattering voices, asking if she had a boyfriend, if she had made a connection with someone during the talks, if she was seeing a married man. It was all about to give her a headache so to quiet them down, she pulled her holopad out of her pocket.

“Do you want to see something weird?” she asked. The women all nodded and chattered in the affirmative. She pulled up the picture and the room went silent. Finally the woman closest to her picked up the pad to look at the image more closely. “Wow,” she said, “I like a dirty picture as much as the next lively-minded lady, but that really is... _weird_. What’s that metal thing next to it?”

She yanked the holopad back, worried that they might recognize the hilt and figure out exactly who’s dick that was. “And here’s the really weird part,” she began. “Then he sent a message that said _sorry, that wasn’t for you_ ”. She held out the holopad to show them how he had abbreviated “sorry”.  The mood amongst the women changed very rapidly from mild intrigue at the image to utter outrage and indignation.

“Oh no,” said the first woman again. “No, no, no, _no_ . First of all, who spells _sorry_ that way? And that picture was for someone else? You shouldn’t stand for that, you need to break up with him immediately. You’re young and lovely and the talk of this entire event, there will be men lining up down the hall to dance with you at the celebration tonight. Take your pick and enjoy yourself. Then dump the creep when you get home.”

Another lady of the court stepped in holding a blue gown with ornate silver embroidery and a very deeply cut neckline. “I think this will be just the thing to have every man there begging, go try this on and then we’ll get started on your hair and makeup”

She took the dress into the back room and slipped it on. It was lighter than she thought it would be with all of the embroidery and when she looked in the mirror she had to admit that it did flatter her quite nicely. She went back out to the main room where the ladies of the court were waiting with an array of hair implements and makeup brushes. She obediently stayed still as they wound her hair into ornate coils that reminded her of the images the general had showed Rey of her mother who had once been the queen of Naboo.

When they got out the makeup brushes and started filling in her eyebrows and painting a stripe over the center of her lips, she got nervous. The woman who was in charge said something about this being a traditional style for royalty in Naboo and that she was being honored in that manner for her brave deeds. She decided that it would be best not to argue. When they were finished, she didn’t recognize herself. She looked both strange and aristocratic, a combination that made her feel powerful. She tried to hold that feeling with her as she was led to a large chamber that held the reception. When everyone’s eyes turned to her, the feeling immediately vanished.

Fortunately, the general came to her rescue, addressing the crowd in her senatorial voice and providing an overly flattering introduction. All she could do was stand there like a deer in the headlights with her heavy makeup and overly styled hair and smile nervously. When it came time to mingle the general kindly whispered in her ear, “all you have to do smile and say _it’s an honor to meet you_ and everyone will do the rest of the talking. You’ll do great, kiddo.”

She was starting to think the tendency to call people _kid_ was something that ran in the family.

The general was right of course - as dignitaries from different worlds came up to greet her she smiled as warmly as she could and somehow managed to charm them with very few words. She also noticed that a few men were watching her with interest as the ladies had predicted but she didn’t pay them any attention. As she made her way across the room, she grabbed morsels of amazingly delicious food from large platters and and sipped a glass of something that sent bubbles up her nose. Before long, Rey was feeling more than a little lightheaded and had to step out to the large balcony for some air.

She leaned against the railing, feeling her head spin and her ears ring. She took slow breaths of cool night air, trying to center herself as she had been taught in the short time she had spent with Master Luke. She tried to make some sense of her jumble of confused emotions - the feelings of failure and self-loathing at not living up to everyone's expectations mixed with the anger at the antics of her not-boyfriend. Tears were starting to spring to her eyes when her ruminations were interrupted.

Rey turned at the sound of someone sortly clearning their throat behind her, and she was unsurprised to see Leia’s familiar face.“You know that I was fourteen when I first started working for the Senate?” asked the general, leaning backwards against the railing. Rey shook her head. “I was so excited to be working alongside my father with all of those important people. I wanted to change the world and save the galaxy and had never felt so determined to do something in my life. Well, my first assignment was as a clerk, taking notes, just like you’ve been doing.” She chuckled to herself, reliving the memory. “Boy, was I taken down a peg once I got started. I thought I was so prepared but I just couldn’t keep up. After my first week I was ready to quit and find a new calling, preferably something that didn’t involve writing. My father wouldn’t let me quit, though, he told me that this was part of the learning process and that I would get better with practice. Of course he was right, as he was about... well, everything. It took time, but I learned how to take notes, write reports, how to decipher the language of politics and navigate that world. The same will happen to you, which is why I’m not letting you quit, either.”

She didn’t ask the general how she knew that Rey was thinking of quitting. The Skywalkers were all uncannily good at getting into her head. She was right, though.

“Alright,” Rey said, her voice feeling scratchy. She accepted a hug from the general, feeling immensely comforted.

“You look like you’ve had enough politics and shmoozing for one night. Your official duties are finished so if you want to head back to base before the rest of the party, you can take one of the extra shuttles.” She then paused and sighed briefly. “Also, if you need to make a side trip to Nar Shadaa on your way back, I don’t think anyone will notice. Just tell my son to stop sending pictures of his privates out over the holo network because embarassing things could happen. Like his mother finding out.”

She grinned awkwardly, feeling embarrassed but the general just hugged her again and went off in search of another glass of wine.  

She grabbed her bag and made her way to the shuttle bay, finding the small spacecraft that had previously been used to transport medical supplies for Naboo. She had taken off and was halfway to Nar Shadaa when she realized that she was still dressed in finery with her face painted and her hair styled. She decided that she didn’t care. As she made her way by surface transport and then wound her way through the  back streets of Nar Shadaa, she received a few strange looks but not as many as she had expected. It was that kind of place, after all.

When she knocked on her door he answered it with no shirt on, as usual. “Woah, what happened to your face? And your hair?” he said in his usual tactless manner.

“That’s not important right now,” she said impatiently, already frustrated with him.

“You look like my grandmother,” he paused, “it rules.”

She stood in the doorway and took a deep breath, trying to find some courage and steady her nerves. “I came here to say that I don’t think I can keep doing this. I don’t think I can keep coming to see you because I feel like a pathetic idiot to get a holo of your dick that wasn’t meant for me with no explanation. Because I’ve let you think that you don’t need to explain.”

“What are you asking?” he said, and she nearly lost it at that

“I’m not asking for anything, I have never asked you for anything, really. I don’t even want anything. I respect your right to have your life here and do what you want and see who you want to see and that’s fine. I don’t want a boyfriend. I don’t need someone to hang out with me all the time and do lovey-dovey things with. I just want someone who respects me and treats me with kindness and acts like a decent human being because for most of my life I didn’t have that. Do you even understand this?” Her voice had gotten louder and she felt herself choking down a sob. An older Deveronian walked behind her in the hallwayand looked concerned, but she ignored him.

“I feel like such an idiot to have to say this to you because I sound like some simpering, needy, fragile girl and I’m not. That’s not me. But I don’t want to be your afterthought. I don’t want to be the one you send a holo of your dick to when you mean to send it to someone else. I also don’t even want a holo of your dick because if you wanted me to look at your dick I could just come over and look at it, it isn’t that difficult.” She sighed heavily and looked up at his unreadable expression. “It doesn’t seem like you are getting this and I don’t think anything I say will change your behavior so I don’t know what else I can do. You must think i’m terribly naive and I suppose I am. Living in isolation for most of one’s life will do that to a person. And I do care about you, probably more than I should, but I just can’t anymore because it hurts too much. I really have to leave.”

She felt herself wavering on the edge of tears, trying to keep down a sob when he reached out take her hand in his and looked at her with a sad, soulful expression. The exact expression that was her weakness. She squeezed her eyes shut to try to resist his pull but he had also chosen that exact time to open the long-dormant Force bond and she felt all of his conflicting emotions. Prideful indifference mixed with genuine remorse and the strong currents of affection and lust which knocked down her defenses. She let his pull carry her and practically jumped into his arms, kissing him ferociously. He grabbed her, letting her legs wrap around his waist and slammed the door shut.

They kissed hungrily, grasping desperately at each other as he placed her on a nearby table. “I don’t like it when you talk to me like that. I never get scared and that... it scared me,” he said, stepping back.

“I don’t like talking to you like that either,” she said biting back a moan as his hand caressed her breast and lightly pinched her nipple through the blue and silver gown. At that moment he noticed that some of her elaborate makeup was coming off on him and wiped the paint from his lips.

“So what’s with the crazy makeup?” he asked again. “Did you lose a bet?”

“Diplomatic trip to Naboo,” she answered simply, offering no other explanation.

“Nice,” he replied. “No wonder you look like grandma.” If that fact weirded him out he didn’t show it as he returned to kissing her enthusiastically, his greedy tongue seeking hers out. She realized that _she_ should probably be weirded out but ignored that thought for now. She ran her hands along his muscular arms, loving how they felt under her fingertips. Everything about him made her body sing but her heart ache and she knew she was going to have to deal with that soon, but for now she just wanted him to make her feel good.

He must have picked up on that through the Force bond, because he lifted her up again and carried her over to partitioned off area of the loft that was his bedroom. “I’m going to make you come so hard,” he muttered in her ear, pinching her nipple again. She moaned and thrust against him, feeling how hard he was already. He sat down on the bed with her straddling his lap and reached around to unzip the gown.

She slipped her arms out of the sleeves and let it fall to her waist. He growled in approval when he saw that she wore no breastband. She stood up and stepped away from him and let the gown drop to her feet. She reached up to start unwinding her hair from the crazy updo but he abruptly said, “no, leave it like it is.” She slipped her underwear off as well and stepped back towards him, climbing into his lap completely nude.

She felt a rush of warmth and lust through the Force bond as he stared at her with an expression she knew well. He attacked her mouth once more and she heard a faint whimper from him as his hands moved to glide over her breasts and then down to grab at her ass. He broke off the kiss only to start kissing his way down her throat to her left breast where he gently ran his teeth along her nipple making her let out a small scream. She threaded her fingers through his hair and let the pleasure-pain sing through her body until she was panting. She let a sudden impulse overtake her and pushed him to lie down flat on the bed and moved to straddle his face. He was normally the dominant one when they fucked - calling her dirty names and thrusting into her roughly - but this time she wanted the upper hand.

She positioned her soaking wet cunt over his mouth and he immediately started feasting on her like a starving man. He nibbled and sucked her clit while keeping his eyes on her face, wanting to see the pleasure overtake her. She dug her nails into her thighs to keep from shaking as he slipped first one and then a second finger inside her. She couldn’t hold back her whimpering as she started riding his fingers and tongue, letting his nose rub up against her clit. This was exactly what she needed after a long day of trying to keep up with notetaking, being paraded around in a ridiculous outfit and dealing stupid bullshit from the man who was eating her out. If only he would spend more time doing _this_ and less time being an asshole her life would be considerably more pleasant.

He must have caught part of her thoughts because he sped up his efforts, curling his fingers up to hit her g-spot. He continued licking her with long strokes that quickly sent her over the edge and had her shaking and gasping for air. She collapsed on the bed next to him as he stood and wiped her slickness from his mouth with a cocky grin.

“Thanks, I needed that,” she said breathlessly.

“Do you need anything else?” he asked, slowly slipping off his pants. “A glass of orange drink? A foot rub? Maybe a good, hard fucking?”

“I would like all three but please start with the last one,” she said, lazily reaching for his cock and stroking it slowly. She gazed up at his naked form, framed by the multicolored neon light pouring in through giant windows behind him. She felt torn between loving and hating him but for now just wanted to devour him.

“I think I can oblige,” he responded with a smirk.

She caught him off guard when she grabbed his hand and yanked him down on top of her and then rolled them over so that she straddled him. “Yes, I think you can,” she said. She was in no mood for his games tonight and immediately sank down onto his cock, giving a breathless moan. He didn’t seem to mind her taking charge and grabbed her hips firmly as she rode him, letting her work herself into a frenzy while muttering into her ear.

“Yes, that’s right. You feel so good. You’re so hot riding me like that. Fuck!” He knew that his words got her off as much as his cock and worked to overwhelm her. He reached up to take a nipple into his mouth and she cried out, digging her nails into his shoulders. She moved her hips sharply and he groaned, whispering _fuck_ under his breath.

“You like that, don’t you? Me riding your cock, moaning like your whore?” She knew her words held the same power and he growled in response, thrusting back up into her. It was her turn to moan obscenities under her breath as he bit down lightly on her other nipple, while pinching the first. The pleasure-pain combined with him muttering _come for me, slut_ , in her ear sent her over the edge and had her screaming as she rode out the orgasm. He grasped her hips and thrust up into her a few more times and came, spilling inside her while letting out a low moan. She limply rolled off of him and lay next to him, catching her breath.

They both stayed silent but kept the Force bond open, sharing the feelings of post-orgasmic bliss as well as the unspoken confusion that stretched between them. She had no idea how to bridge that expanse, how to even understand him.

She knew that staying there too long would be a bad idea, so she slowly got up and started getting dressed. She had some trouble zipping up the back of her dress but he didn’t offer to help, he just sat up in his bed, staring at her with an unreadable expression.

She finally managed to get her dress fastened and glanced in a mirror to discover that most of her makeup was smeared across her face. She didn’t bother asking him for help, she just looked around until she found a rag that seemed mostly clean and used it to wipe the rest of the paint off. Her updo was also half unwound so she finished taking it down and combed her hair out with her fingers. She felt a pang of some strong, unidentifiable emotion emotion through the force bond and turned to look at him.

“Well, I guess I should go,” she muttered, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze.

“I guess you should,” he responded a little too loudly, jumping up from the bed. He turned his back to her as he started getting dressed so she took that as her cue to leave. She slipped out the door and started heading back to her shuttle when she remembered that he never gave her the orange drink. Defiantly, she stopped at the shop on the corner and bought a bottle of the stuff, along with a box of her favorite cookies.

Back in the shuttle, she swigged the beverage and covered her gown with cookie crumbs as she tried to get the thoughts of that damn psychopath out of her head. She knew this would be a near-impossible task and groaned, thumping her forehead against the dashboard. She had no idea what she was going to tell the general when she got back and just hoped that she didn’t ask too many questions.


End file.
